The Breakfast Talk-O.

The Breakfast Talk-O.

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A few months back I had the pleasure of being in a morning meet-up named Breakfast Talk-O, hosted by Elisabeth Brinklow. I was at a table with a multi-generational group of women from many walks but with one commonality: They were all artists or work closely with artists.

Growing up in a house filled with woman leaders, it’s not lost on me, the concept of how women are the cornerstone of our society. They uphold our families, culture and more increasingly now, are big factors in the growth of our economy. Though you’ll never understand it fully if you don’t get to witness it in real time, how they work together to get things accomplished.

Most interesting in this case is the older generation. They still have the ideas, energy, and knowledge to make things happen. And then to unselfishly turn ‘round and teach the younger generation behind them with the unified understanding that there’s still work left to do. As men, I think there’s a lot we can learn here.

Identity Crisis.

Identity Crisis.

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Hey B! Do you still do art and stuff?

I get asked this questions everytime I run into someone from my past. And my response after a short pause is, sure man, I still do art. I used to get mad at this questions because I never saw myself as an artist and most times I still don’t. But it took me a while to realize that back in the day, I did art enough for most of the people I grew up with to identify me as an artist.

Over the years, I became many things, a gymnast, a diver, a simmer, a capoeirista, a father. So it’s safe to say that whatever I’m doing right now is based on the things I’m interested in right now. Even my life as a creative has always been associated with me being a graphic designer and never separate. In fact, most of my career I’ve only identified myself as a designer and I’m only creative because I’m a designer.

No matter how many times I’ve changed, no matter how many times I discovered that I was becoming something more, the story I told myself was to the contrary. All I am is a designer. Let me tell you how debilitating this has been for me up until now. I have turned down so many opportunities because of my stubbornness of letting go of how I saw myself.

If you really want to see growth in your life, if you really want to see what you are made of, let go of the labels you have allowed yourself and others to identify you as, let go and watch as you become the person you already are right now.

Motivation For Change.

Motivation For Change.

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In the past, I was not great at moving on. I’d find myself putting things off because I was afraid that once I made the decision to change, I was never prepared to do anything about it.

If I did not acknowledge that there were things to be changed then, I wouldn’t have to do anything about it. I knew change was easy and people changed their minds all of the time. It is the actions to follow through that are the toughest.

For a long time, I was a willing victim of not taking action. In response to change, I was good at doing nothing. I knew I’d have to live with that. But allowing others to change my life crossed a line. Only I can squash my hopes and dreams, not you. I then decided to make sure that the things I’m working so hard on are things I really want.

So I started paying more attention to my thoughts. I defined what I ideas and goals I saw for myself and how I could use all of this knowledge to help others in the same situation.

I made a plan and moved on.

The Shame In Giving A Damn.

The Shame In Giving A Damn.

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From time to time, I find myself really caring about what people think of me. I mean, there are legit times when I really give a damn about things like, the way my voice sounds or shit like, do I sound smart enough? I’ve questioned, am I enough? Do I have what it take to be the person they are looking for to help solve whatever problem they are having?

I torture me, all the way to the point until they open their mouths. That’s when I realize what’s really going on. This PERSON – be they client or potential client – or some new person giving a presentation at a committee I’m a part of, they have the same thoughts in their heads about some story they have cooked up about themselves that’s just not true.

We are just people. People with hopes and dreams of what we think is best to get the most out of this ride as we can. Every day we get is a new opportunity to do better and to go further. And time spent caring too much about what we think about each other is a shame.

Painting by: Mason Gehring